Bad Week, Great Meal.

Bad Week, really bad week. We started and ended with suicide threats at work. One Monday one Friday and Lin between.
I've spoken of L before, she's just a bitch in sheep's clothing. A bit of recent background here. At work we are employing the "Nurtured Heart Approach" to help with participants behaviours. It does seem to be working. Incident reports are down 25% from last year.great they really seem to be liking this approach. More background. We are housed in an almost 100 year old school building. And it looks like something out of that time period. Old, rundown, institutional. I was trying to decorate the cafeteria - the biggest room in the building, save the gym- and the ugliest.
L wanted to "help" - she's as much help as your average 3 year old- and does not want to do any of the real work she wants to do the end of it, the visible stuff that takes less effort than rolling over in your bed on a lazy Saturday morning. It gives her the attention of having "done" it but she doesn't have to actually *DO* anything.
I've told her repeatedly that I decidedly do *NOT* want her help in anything...Wednesday she forced herself on me again while I was hanging things up. Now it took me a MONTH to find the pattern, make the pattern, cut out 95 flower power flowers and the centers, come up with a "theme statement", trace and cut those and so forth. So Wednesday when I was hanging them up Linda forced herself into it again, in front of participants, in front of other staff and I could do nothing but put with everyone telling her "how nice a job" WE did. I really wanted to scream "THERE IS NO *WE* ABOUT THIS *I* DID IT L IS JUST FORCING HERSELF IN WHERE SHE'S NOT WANTED" but that would be "unprofessional" ( but taking credit for something you put no effort into - isn't seen as unprofessional here). She's also trying to get me to take money from her,to cover the costs of the project, also so she can be seen as "helping" - I don't want her money. Or her help.
Not even sure why I don't want her help except that she doesn't want to really *DO* anything and I *DON'T* like her, in the least.
So I talked to J about it and told her how I felt and J said something about L needing to help and be nice and "It's teamwork" - it's NOT teamwork when one person does 99.9% of the work and one person forces herself into the most visible parts. Teamwork is when both parties do roughly equal portions of work. I told J that "It's not nice and it's not teamwork when you are forcing yourself somewhere, someone has made plain that you're not welcome - it's controlling." J resignedly said she'd talk to l again about forcing herself on me.
Now, I did tell L that if she wanted to decorate she could come up with her own ideas, do the work and decorate part of the wall or a bulletin board on her own and she said "but I can't come up with anything" and "you'll HAVE to help me" - uh NO I do not - you want to do something YOU do it, not I do all the damned work and you get the fucking credit for it. I made the offer several times when she complained,whined and insisted that she was "helping" me. She refused each time and then came out with, " I know what I want to do - I want to have the cross and the risen christ on opposite walls, it's what I believe, it's a free country and I should be able to have it there." [SO not appropriate in a place where we have Jews, Buddhists and Muslims as well as Christians. Where are the symbols of everyone else's religions? is SHE going to do those too, or just hers. IF you guessed she is only going to have the xtian ones you guessed correctly.] Then she looked at me and said "I can't do the drawings and stuff so you'll have to help me with those." Uh - No I am *NOT doing that at all. And because it's a free country NO ONE can make me help you force your religion on others.
On to Thursday and the first thing I get when I get in is a note from J saying "E does not want anything on the walls, hold on the decorating, we have to talk." Interesting and infuriating since I have done the decorate the wall thing 6 or 7 times in the past 15 months that I have been there and E has had no problem with it. E is second in command and I *would* have heard about it had she had issues before this. BUT E is also a friend of L.
Late Thursday Jsph the behaviour guy comes past me - flings his arms out and tells me how beautiful and fantastic the walls look and could we do this, that and the other thing with it in the future. And I have to tell him that I am not sure there will be a next time because the note from E and Jsph wants to know what problem E is trying to solve with that ruling. I told him about the conflict with L over it and that I think it's that L is jealous and Jsph said "tough, one person's issues can't stop the rest of us." And that he wanted to be in the conversation about it - and emailed J about it.
So Friday they have the dept meeting and it was L's turn to go - I had to cover for her. First thing she does when she gets back is tell me "There were 4 issues we discussed and the biggest was your wall" I told her that it's a sore spot and to drop it...and she continued talking about it...and I repeated that it's a sore spot and that she needed to drop it...repeat three times. I finally got called away by C - who is E's equal and who had seen me telling L to drop it. C really didn't need help I think she just wanted to get me away from L.
Later J mentioned that they had a long meeting and I said yeah L said that there were 4 issues and my wall was the biggest...3 other folks sputtered, J just said "yeah it was part of it. And Jsph's really upset over it." I told that he said he was taking it as a personal affront and J confirmed that and said I should be too...I told her I was really upset and J said that I should not "give up that this is being fought." sigh. No good deed, right?
So the very last thing that happened Friday was the second suicide threat. Great way to end the week, on the same note it started.
When I got home I called Trish, and we made plans to go out. WE first went and I joined the Y and then we went to find dinner... we were driving up Hertle and found place called Tunisian Dinner" and we tried that since we had never had Tunisian food before. We had seen a review of it i nthe paper and thought it sounded like fun but the first time we tired it was closed...so this time we spotted it open..and we took the chance. Am I glad we did!!!
It's a two person operation, just the one man and his mom and it was fantastic. Some of you know how bloody spoiled I am when it comes to food...Mike's being a 4 star ( at least ) Chef and all. The food in this place was every bit as good as the Mike's - just a different presentation and atmosphere. We felt like the Chef had invited us into his kitchen and was hosting us rather than that he was a restaurateur trying to provide a service. He talked to us about the food, his country and bit of everything. When we inquired about what spices there were in stuff, he made the couscous for me with out the anise - because I am allergic to it. And the tea was to die for. Addictive. While we were eating dinner another family came in, and he remembered the wife from a few months ago, they ordered and he went about preparing it...he was bringing something out to them they were saying grace and he stopped, so that he would not interrupt, they noticed him and the husband told him it was ok, he told them "go ahead, Blessing God is a good thing, it's right." and silently waited for them to finish. It was a touching display of respect and kindness in a weary world. Something not often seen. The place was as good for the soul as the food was for the body...and so needed that day. I left feeling so much better. If you are here in Buffalo, go, please, you won't regret. It may well be the best part of your day.