Re-Write #1

A few moths ago I wrote a rant about how I couldn't Tell the man who inspired me to learn violin how Much his music meant to me. I needed to rewrite it and tonight I did.
Here's the result. It's not what I want but closer.




I don't know how to tell you this, but for a long time now you've been my inspiration for learning to play fiddle.
On 9/11/2001 while I was watching the towers fall, I had your music on. Yours and Bob Hallet's. I found there comfort and safety and joy and laughter and love...all in the strains of your music. And I found a dream.
A dream to be able to make my own music. Like you. Like Bob.
But you know dreams are funny and inspiration more so. I went off to the Gaelic College, Had a Great teacher Who made me love the instrument...make it seem like a friend. And I came home....it took me three months to find a teacher. Who turned out to be physically abusive. I stuck with it for three months and then gave up. It took almost three weeks for the bruises to fade completely. I cried every week when I went to lessons, and when I came home. I wanted Ian to teach me again. And the Following summer I went back to the Gaelic College...I quickly became the target of the teacher's frustrations. She was in a position that she should never have been put in and I caught the flack for her stress. Between the two of those teachers, I learned to fear lessons.
But you know your music, held healing and hope and courage.
Same with when my dad got sick with cancer and died - it was your music that helped..ground me and comfort me through that. And when my brother was in a motorcycle accident..it was your music that healed and comforted me every night after visiting him in ICU.
Through some of the worst times of my life your music comforted, healed, inspired and fostered dreams.
And those dreams never died, either because I found something else in your music too. Courage. Last winter I went to a couple of Christmas Concerts and listened to you again. And yes to your Sister and brothers. But you, you I watched...your hands seemed to fly and your eyes danced. You really seemed to enjoy yourself there. And I again wanted to be able to play those songs.
The courage I found in those songs made me go out and find a teacher again, to take lessons again. I did. I started December 20th, 2006 with a teacher who's very encouraging and patient..but she doesn't make me love it. That I find in your Music. I listen everyday.
And in your music I find a sense of wonder, and joy and love of life and magic. Did you know you're putting all that in there? You should. It's quite a gift to us.
I still find inspiration there too. Inspiration to re- do Morag for the umpteenth millionth time and try to play it right. To keep going with Piper's Cave and to go ahead and Try Ode to Joy or Silent Night. And some how listening to you makes all that fun.
I wonder if you realize that you paint pictures with your music and create dreams.
And I wonder if you'd laugh at me for telling you so.