Saturday and Sunday I went to Music Fest in Chatham, NY. I should not have gone. Saturday was a disaster - that ended with me hurting Stewart MacNeil, the very *last* person I *ever* would want to hurt.
Here's what happened - I made cookies for him, got them to the fair gounds, and got run into by a kid and dropped them. Anne had told Stewart to expect them and then when She found out that they were destroyed told him what happened.
After the show ( wonderful -by the way) he made a laughing comment about me having a "mishap with the cookies" to me, it came off as mocking. And Stewart is the *very last* person I would have expected ever to mock me. And I told him so. I told him " It's not funny! and you are the last person I would have expected to make fun of me!" and turned and walked away.
I went and got my bag from Anne, she asked where I was going and I told her "Any place but here." And took off via the shortest route - unfortunately it was right past the MacNeils,,,Stewart *tried* to say something, I am still not sure what, but I was too upset and shocked to hear it.
I went around the corner of one of the buildings and had a cry.
And then went, washed my face, and went back to face the music from the rest of the MacNeils. We stood around and talked for a bit and Stewart came over and tried to put an arm around my waist. ( This is not a good move,even from him, even at the best of times) I moved away. He tried to talk to me and I was very cold to him I called him "sir" a few times and he left. As he turned away even *I* could see the hurt in his eyes.
Lucy asked "What happened here?" a couple of times as she was leaving I told her to give Stewart a hug for me and she asked again I told her "He decided to make fun of me, and I decided not to take it." and asked her again to give Stewart a Hug for me.
I hope she did.
That night was miserable for me. I couldn't believe that Stewart would make fun of me, and since it was so far from what I know of Stewart that I was honestly worried about him.
Sunday Anne, had to leave before the Last Show...she would have driven me to the train station but I did not want to leave things with Stewart as they were, as he had seemed upset the night before and I hated that.
So I stayed. And when they came in I asked Lucy if I was allowed to say "hi", she said "I never said you weren't. You worry too much." Stewart came in and asked "are we ok?" I told him yes, gave him a hug ( that he didn't return) and told him that I had been worried about him the night before. He said "really?" in a tone of voice that said he'd never believe that. I told him he was "Not himself last night" and he said "It must have been the cold and the wine" and I left it at that.
I left, and went to watch the show. Coyote Run was on and I *love* their version of Lord of the Dance. So I sat stitched and tried to enjoy the music.
The Barra MacNeils came on in a little while and they were wonderful as usual. After the Show, I talked to Kyle - he's wonderful, I love the way his eyes light up when he talks about his wife and he asked if I was still taking lessons, I told him yes that I am not giving up til I can play Tullochgorum. He said 'You've set your self quite a goal there. I suppose you can play the easier parts and learn the rest of it later." ( there's easier parts to Tullochgorum? Who knew?) And I asked him if he would play Tullochgorum with me when I get it...he said "I would love to." I love that man.
I talked to Stewart to, but he wasn't the same with me.
I think I Messed up big time, there and I am not sure he'll ever forgive me.
