Probably not what the 16 Days organizers want....sorry

On one of my favourite blogs,
Fetch Me My Axe, has a post about an online protest against Violence against women. For 16 days people all over the "blogosphere" are writing about Violence against women and how to end it/ help it's victims,ect. All well and good - I've been thinking about it for days in terms of my life, how I act and how others act towards me.
Oh, I have had my share of violence, I spent years being sexually abused by male relatives, I was raped by a therapist,and I've had my "share" of beatings.But you know when I think of the things that have been the most soul rending, it's the words that I recall. Words that no longer have any meaning for me. Call me a slut? I'll likely laugh. I lable myself a bitch, and other words, well, who cares what someone who would use them thinks - at least at this point.
But lately I've been seeing women being labled with these words -and worse - because they don't fall in line with the attitudes and life choices of others. It occured to me that it's really always been this way. I can recall being called a "slut" because I wouldn't date a guy, other girls were called that for having too many boyfriends - same with whore...you could act either way and still be called that so basically the word means "Woman who doesn't act the way the speaker wants her too." Fine and dandy. It also says way more about the speaker's state of mind than it does about the person being called that.
Same with Bitch or Cunt - really. Fastest way I have found to be called either is to stand up for myself and refuse to do behave as told. And let me tell you when you make life out of not dating, not having sex and not having children - you find yourself not behaving astold" an awful lot.
But there's other words too, "Breeder" "Child-hater" "Selfish" - for either having or not having kids, and so on.
Words we use to Slash and burn, causing wounds that last far longer than the bruises or broken bones coming from the violence that often accompanies them. Maybe it's time to stop worrying about how to end violence and time to start worrying about how we can change the words and atittudes that start it.
Violence ain't going away until we change the atittudes that cause us to lable those who make different choices for our bodies, or jobs, and our lives. First thing we all need to get over is ourselves.