So sick of it all.

School is coming to an end. I don't feel good about this semester at.all. Not. at.all. I am sick and tired of being stressed and ticked off all the time. Most of the ticked off-edness is at the music teacher I just dropped. I just can't seem to let go of the anger. So I am writing about it here...as it is affecting everything else in my life. Stupid, eh? I put up with his sit for years with good graces and now I can't let go of it? Wonder what that's about. I hurt inside, I hate giving up on dreams - I hate that I can't play as well as I want but I am convinced if the damned teacher would answer questions and listen to what I was trying to say - or even let me play over the past year or so. Why practice if you are out and out banned from playing the pieces you like, or even trying them? And yes, I am an adult...and did play the things I like, but the same pieces over and over and never having questions answered about techniques does not lead to even the smallest progress. I needed feedback got not, and no real teaching. Sigh. Just recordings, and work from the recordings - like that really gives feed back. I am tired and heart sore. How does one get over the death of a dream? So many people have gone through so much,,,and come out so much better than I...not angry and wanting to slap something. Can't do that...but is anger violence of another sort and how does one release it it harmlessly? Sigh. The world does not need more anger. It needs healing, I need healing from this and so much else- but the first step is to let go and forgive. how to do that, how to do that?